The reason I haven’t blogged in quite a while is because I haven’t had much to say. Well, perhaps that’s not entirely true, but whatever I’ve been thinking about lately has been taking a while to churn and develop into coherent thoughts.
Top of mind is that I’ve been eating better and watching what type of stuff I’m consuming. I’m hoping to see some long-term health benefits… that’d be great. Beyond that, I haven’t really been able to sum up the rest of how I feel about my life as it currently is into nice succinct sentences in the last few weeks.
The thing that stands out to me the most from the last few weeks is a sense of almost ever-present loneliness which alternately ebbs and flows, but always constantly distracting me by intruding into my thoughts. Additionally, during my late-night drives to and from places, I have a lot of time to think about things, and I find that I can’t help but to acknowledge that at the same time, (1) the world is far more broken and has far more troubles than the issues which I continue to deal with, which pale in comparison, and (2) I can’t lose sight of my own issues long enough to learn to care and engage with how messed up the world is.
I think what I need is for the truths I know, and all my head-knowledge about the gospel, to develop into heart change which changes the way I perceive things in my life, and that I would realize my own troubles are insignificant in light of the joy that there is in the gospel, and that my priorities and attention would be radically shifted away from myself.
One Comment
Great thoughts. I find myself realizing that too–that I am so self-absorbed that I never ever think about the things of God, his kingdom, his purposes, and what I may do to serve him. As they say, it’s me, me, me all the time.